Despite the fact that I have been writing for almost nine years, I would gladly give it all up for the ability to draw. You may think this madness, but I assure you that it is not. I would honestly rather be able to draw than be able to write.

For the whole of my life I have been very drawn to imagery; I know that when we're young we all like pictures instead of words, but even as I grew up the written word was secondary to images for me. I could read a well written book and enjoy it, but I would get much more pleasure out of a well drawn or painted image. To me, the fact that it's portrayed in an actual image, where the details are shown in their full glory rather than merely described and left for your imagination has a much deeper and stronger impact.

I can't say that I don't have an imagination; if I didn't then I wouldn't be much of a writer. However, when I read something, no matter how well the details are spelled out for me, I can't fully picture the image the author is trying to paint with words. For me, not having the full image degrades the work, it makes it less enjoyable.

I suppose that this all stems from the way my mind works; I tend to think in imagery. This is especially true for when I get an idea for a story and flesh it out; a basic idea can come to me in words, but as I develop the idea it comes out as an image. I can see the characters talking and doing actions, I can see the area around them, Hell I can almost smell what's around them. If I close my eyes the whole thing just deepens, my whole mind focuses on the images; that's where I really get to work, as I can almost produce a short film of events.

So I think in images, but surely that doesn't mean that I cannot write it. And that's true; I can write about the images I come up with, and I can do it decently well. That's the problem; I can only do it decently well. This is the major hurdle that I can never get over; I'm not proficient enough with words to get what I truly see across in a way that allows others to imagine what I can easily see. Detail has always been my enemy; I've never been good with describing it, never been good with using it to my advantage. Perhaps it's because I never had training, but then that doesn't explain how some people who haven't had any training can produce some of the most detailed pieces of literature that I have ever seen in my life.

If I had any talent in drawing, however, I could eliminate the need for words and simply lay down on paper what I imagine, what I think. If I could draw I wouldn't be limited to a futile attempt to get what I mean written down; it would be there for all the world to see and understand with ease.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't draw; my mother had the talent for it. Why couldn't I have inherited that instead of getting the ability to write decently well? It is as though I was going to have the talent (due to my ability to think in images), but somewhere along the way the proper gene sequences were never triggered.

But regardless of what could have been, I still have a talent. And while it may not be the one I prefer, I will still try to develop it as much as I can, even if I never rise above being mediocre.


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